Without Title II

I have a collection of half finished posts lounging around waiting to be finished. Sadly for them, they won’t see the light of day. There’s a chance that this one might join them, though obviously if you’re reading this then yadda yadda.

One of the things I’ve been struggling with is being friendly to strangers in situations where I’m pissed off. If there were a hidden camera show that filmed people when they’re pissed or embarrassed in public, I would fail. What upsets me is that I want to be that person who shows up unexpectedly: “while filming, our cameras picked up one extraordinary citizen yadda yadda.” I’m nowhere even close. I’m not an asshole by any means, but I become very silent.

Insecurities can be detrimental to relationships.

I went to Canada last week. It was pretty neat, you know? US border patrol searched our car when we came back into the US. Last night I watched an episode of South Park, the one about the TSA. The government likes to take away our freedom and label it with “protection.” And we let them do it! I for one am not a huge fan of fear mongering. Back to Canada, I think many Americans (myself included at various times) think of Canada as a panacea. “That’s it! I’m moving to Canada!” Stuffwhitepeoplelike blog joked about that, but you may have heard someone threaten that before. It’s not a utopia, but for what it’s worth, Canada is an alright place. I like the bilingualism. I like the stereotypes that everyone is nice and says sorry. I like how it isn’t quite so restrictive as the US. However, I think that I probably won’t try to move there (unless it’s Vancouver).

I need to learn how to motivate myself when the motivation is still far away.

Something someone told me: “Life is too short to stay angry at anybody.” I think it takes a lot to go through before that really clicks.

Is it possible to change your beliefs by acting in a certain way? Is it possible to love someone by helping them, even though you don’t want to? 1Cor 13:1-3 : “If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” So that’s interesting, but can one start to love because of one’s actions? Where does love come from, if not from God?

I just read that Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream) is working on a movie based on Noah’s Ark. That’s exciting.

The internet facilitates my procrastination and at times can be the bane of productivity. Internet, y u no end?



5 thoughts on “Without Title II

  1. hey i like your idea of posting up your incomplete thoughts. i feel like it puts a little good pressure/ accountability to pursue the questions more easily when you post them in public. yeah yeah, im stealing your idea for my blog. it will motivate me to pursue those questions instead of letting them pass!

    “Is it possible to change your beliefs by acting in a certain way?”
    My My that’s a good question to pursue and a hard one! Haha I always thought that if I didn’t have feelings for my maw, I should just give her a big old squeeze (hug) and then I would some how have feelings for her. I don’t remember if that worked out.

    “Is it possible to love someone by helping them, even though you don’t want to”
    Anyway, perhaps part of it has something to do with the definition of love?
    I had a friend who said something along the lines that “to act lovingly means to seek actively the benefit of someone else” and “even what passed for charity, self sacrifice for less fortunate individuals is not the same as real love (i.e. agape love). it is inferior to it. it might profit the receiver but it did not profit the giver. (whoa bold statement. still trying to figure out the fullness of it)

    and i read somewhere in desiring god that there is a difference between selflessness and love. in which selflessness is primarily focused on our self, our abstinence and christian love is othercentered or focused on that other person’s happiness. so love>unselfishness.

    as you can see im currently throwing random tidbits, i don’t have a coherent thought right now,and did not directly answer your question but yeah i hope the little tidbits help.


    1. Hmm so I often hear of this “sacrificial love”. I used to think of it as being selfless or in a way what u said “doing something for someone even if u don’t want to”. But now im starting to realize, thanks to John piper, the person who is sacrificially loving must be delighted or somewhat joyful for the gain of the other.( I hope I made sense) otherwise, if the giver is not delighted than the act of love seems out of obligation. I think I realize that when I love someone I would do things that I would normally dislike doing to other ppl AND still feel delighted. But yeah it can be hard to love sacrificially even if u loved that person. What am I doing writing a post 3:50 am? Im hungry and can’t sleep!

      P.s. I hope I don’t sound like I am lecturing.

      1. Oh man I think I figured out wat my friend was saying about love profiting both the giver and receiver. The giver feels delighted when the receiver feels empowered.

      2. I think i now understand what my friend was saying when she said that love must profit both the giver and receiver. The giver must feel delighted while the receiver feel empowered. What’s that word that starts with an S?;) Symbiotic!

      3. I’m sure the comment went through twice and now I’m just spamming u. Forgive me it’s 4am and I’m blabbering

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